"When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? ...

...We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or fight like hell." ~Lance Armstrong

As always I seem to go forever without updating...and then feel obligated to post at length about the past 18 months of my life. Fortunately at this point, we're only talking about a few weeks, and I'm way too tired right now so I'll just mention the exciting news of finally making it to the doctor.

I know, for most people this is not exciting (and really, I would love to do away with doctor appointments altogether), but after over 6 months of playing phone tag with the doctor's office, I was happy to finally make my way to Santa Clara Valley Medical Center.

During my 2+ hour visit, the following things happened:
1. I received many a stare for being the youngest patient in the oncology area. It's highly possible that every other person there had children who are older than I am.
2. Upon meeting one of the doctors there that day I was told: "You look way too healthy to be in oncology." Funny are the compliments I accept and feel good about now. This one made my day.
3. MY FILE WAS EMPTY. I would like a photo of my face when I was told: "Your file is empty." After 6 months of getting all my information sent from my last doctor to this one, I incorrectly assumed they might have all my records. Given this lack of information, I did my best to describe my health history.

In case you're wondering, my description included:
-"My doctor said I had the same cancer as Lance Armstrong, except not testicular, obviously."
-"I looked like I was pregnant, and they refused to believe I did not have a baby inside me ready to be born"
-"The ultrasound lady said the mass was so big she couldn't see anything besides it. When I asked her if I needed surgery she said, 'Well you certainly can't walk around with this thing inside of you!' That did not make me feel good."
-"Oh, and then I ate a cheeseburger the day after surgery. I thought the hospital was pretty good--I mean the food was great!"
-"I felt great and thought I was fine after surgery! I even said I was thankful I didn't have cancer on Thanksgiving. That was a mistake. I don't say things like that anymore."
-"Other surgery? Um, I had my wisdom teeth out this past summer. Does that count?"

Fortunately for my doctors, I know all the medicines I took and the course of chemo I went through (just a wee bit hard to forget), and I also told them what blood tests to order (CA-125 and AFP! The day I don't get those run I will be one happy lady!).

All in all, the appointment was exhausting...but on the bright side the doctor was really nice. Being back in the cancer center, however, was quite a reminder of what I went through a couple years ago--and I'm not going to lie, it wasn't fun. I'm so blessed to be healthy, but I wish I didn't have to revisit that point of "not-so-healthy" every couple months. It's scary to think how many people have cancer. How many people don't know what to do when they get cancer. How many people who get cancer...and who don't survive. I'm lucky to say the least.