The past couple days have been rocky, but thank goodness for the middle of the night to give me some time to think. Despite my efforts to become a morning person and to go to bed on time, I'm convinced I am a late night person. Even in high school I remember staying up late...and then I would convince my dad to drive me to school in the morning so I could sleep on the ride there. Anyone who knows me from Pepperdine probably received an email from me in the middle of the night. I can't help it. When all the hustle and bustle of the day disappears, I can breathe, think, and refocus.
So, needless to say after an interesting couple days, I needed this late night calmness to arrive. Long story short, it looks as though I'm going to be paying quite a bit more for my Master's than intended. This unexpected cost is just not something I was at all prepared for, for several reasons (otherwise I would call it an "expected" cost), and apparently this is something that stresses me out. Who knew.
Isn't this when I'm supposed to say: "Psshh. I've been through worse. Bring it on."? Well, if the past 9 years of my life are any indicator of what's heading my way in the future, I'm a little nervous. Sometimes I reminisce to when life was normal. Oh to be 14 again.
However, as always I'm reminded of the fact that in the grand scheme of things, my life could be 1000x worse...to put a more positive spin on that sentence: My life is amazing. Sure there are so many unknowns and crazy happenings in my life (what else is new...), but if I were to make a list of all my blessings, the list would never end.
Let me toss out 10 wonderful parts of my life from the past couple weeks before I go to bed:
1. I drove in my amazing car with my amazing dog down to LA.
2. I saw Nnenna and Jenn...and drank Coffee Bean.
3. I stayed with my phenomenal big sis Minda in Santa Monica...and we ate Thai Dishes one night.
4. My feet touched the beach.
5. I saw my amazing little sis Afton.
6. Becca is back in the states!
7. Julie is back in the states too--and back in SAN JOSE!
8. I've spoken with my aunt and cousins on the phone several times in the last weeks.
9. Indoor skydiving. So fun.
10. Valerie and I were able to spend nearly an entire day catching up in Marina del Rey when I drove down to LA.
...Please note that 7 of those 10 occurred over the course of three days.
I'll say it again:
I. Am. Blessed.
Now off to bed, it's time to go,
For if I don't, we all know,
Tomorrow, I'll need coffee.
(...did you think it was going to rhyme?)
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Last post of the night
I have to mention that while my writing has never been officially rejected, there is one man who tore my writing apart. Don't worry, it wasn't as bad as it sounds, and I could not be more grateful for all the red ink my teacher used on my papers. He asked me a question I often wish I had the nerve to ask others: "What do you actually mean? Will you re-read what you wrote, because I don't understand it."
I liked big words a lot when I was a freshman in high school (and I still sometimes do), but I learned that the thesaurus on my computer more often than not is my worst enemy. Thanks Mr. O'Loughlin. I promise not to use fancy words just to sound smart.
I liked big words a lot when I was a freshman in high school (and I still sometimes do), but I learned that the thesaurus on my computer more often than not is my worst enemy. Thanks Mr. O'Loughlin. I promise not to use fancy words just to sound smart.
Monday, July 5, 2010
How to Become a Bajilionarian
me: i need to figure out what sarcastic quotes look like
or make them up
basically
Chris: haha
me: so you can tell when i am making fun of you
Chris: you should do that and patent it
and become a bajillionairian
me: dude
i just was thinking about what to do with my life
Chris: hahaha
me: and that would make it a lot easier
Chris: totally
me: if i was a bajilionaire
Chris: bajilionarian
me: and people would ask me
why are you so rich?
and i could respond via IM
with my sarcastic quotes
it would be great
well, life crisis averted. i now know what to do.
or make them up
basically
Chris: haha
me: so you can tell when i am making fun of you
Chris: you should do that and patent it
and become a bajillionairian
me: dude
i just was thinking about what to do with my life
Chris: hahaha
me: and that would make it a lot easier
Chris: totally
me: if i was a bajilionaire
Chris: bajilionarian
me: and people would ask me
why are you so rich?
and i could respond via IM
with my sarcastic quotes
it would be great
well, life crisis averted. i now know what to do.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
My dream job...
...has yet to be created, as far as I know. Actually, I'm not sure what my dream job is so perhaps it already exists, and I just don't know it.
I've just spent two hours perusing grad school websites, reading about graduate education programs, and I am even more confused than usual.
To start, I love my job right now! I love being in the classroom, surrounded by 20 wonderful kindergarteners, and learning with them. I love to learn, and I love to excite them about learning--I just don't know how to explain how great it is to be in the classroom.
In many ways, I could see myself being a kindergarten teacher for the next 40 years...
...but I also wonder if I'm supposed to be in the classroom for 40 years. Here are two parts of my future I feel fairly certain about:
1. Whatever I do needs to involve children, especially children between the ages of 3 and 6.
2. Whatever I do needs to involve education and learning.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I'm most myself around 5 year-olds. I'm not sure why, but I think there's something so amazing about hanging out with people who are genuine, sincere, and honest. 5-year olds are all these things. They don't say things just to sound smart or to make a point; they operate so differently than people of any other age, and it's so refreshing to spend time with them. I love that I can pull a student aside and simply say: "What's going on today?" ...and the answer I get is honest. When some people get stressed, they go for a run; others need a cigarette--some may need a hug...me, I need a box of crayons, and let me color with a kid, and I'll be good to go.
That said, if you know me you know I love working with kids, and you should also know that I LOVE learning. Love it. I love to read, I love to write, I love to do new things (even if sometimes I don't seem like I do). I love to learn about all kinds of things. Don't tell my brother, but yes, I like learning about opera, too. I'll never be the kind of person who will be on Jeopardy and remember all kinds of random trivia. In fact, I am terrible at remembering anything and everything I learned in history classes, but if you give me a great non-fiction work on something from history, I will dive into it. Put me in a museum, and I'll spend way too much time there--a museum and a library beat a classroom and a boring textbook any day. I sometimes mistake my love of learning for a love of school. The truth is, I do love school, but not always. I loved the schools I went to and the teachers and professors I had.
I once had a professor tell me that I was a different type of student...I forget her exact words, but she said something along the lines of: "If you were put in an empty room and someone turned the lights off and left you there, you'd still find a way to learn. You're a learner at heart." ...and I've never heard anyone say something like that before. Up until a couple years ago, I think I thought that everyone felt the way I did, that learning and school are great. I've learned that's not necessarily true, but I also think that a love of learning can be taught--it's great teachers and great educators who inspire that in you, and so I know I want to stay in the education world somehow.
And now, in no particular order, here are the other things I really want to be part of my career at some point:
1. Working with children who are sick and their families. Two words: St. Jude. I don't know if this is a response to my being sick or what, but I really think that in many ways while it would break my heart to be around children who have life-threatening illnesses, the children and their families would easily repair that breaking. I feel like I would be the luckiest person to get to know all those amazing children and their families if I worked at a hospital like St. Jude or Children's Memorial.
2. Working with and perhaps advising new teachers. I am still very much so a new teacher, and so it's not that I feel I have all this wisdom to pass off to anyone. Rather, what I discovered in talking with the new corps members this year (and as I felt in the past with new members in Tri Delt) is that I just love listening to people who are excited embark on something new! I love to keep in touch with people, as terrible as I may be at responding to emails and phone calls, and really, I could sit and listen to or read about my friends' lives all day long. I love to hear what's going on with a friend or read about the amazing things they're doing.
3. Fun pretty organization. I love labels and organization. I love when things match, when things are neat and orderly. I feel as though my love of things being pretty and neat almost ventures into Monica Geller-ness...except I don't cross-reference things yet so I think I'm okay. On the last day of school, I made Kristin pretend to be as excited as I was about my newly organized binders in my cabinets. During Induction, I re-did our meeting room with posters, and I made people go see it--I really just love when things look neat and organized.
4. Being outside! Believe it or not, despite my fear of bugs and my tendency not to like the weather when it ventures beyond my 60-75 degree comfort zone (as well as my likelihood to burn in any weather), I really do love being outside. I certainly don't want to rough it by living outdoors for the rest of my life and surviving on food I caught and made myself. That does not sound fun to me at all. However, if I could teach outside everyday I would. I love to splash in puddles and wear my rainboots. If I didn't get sick so often, I'd spin around in the rain more often. There's something very magical and fun about being outside and about nature.
...and there ends my list for today. With all those thoughts in my head, I figured why not type this all up--there's definitely more to come and much more to add, but I think I'll leave it at that for tonight. I woke up very late today (4 P.M. late...) after sleeping all yesterday with a migraine, but with all the lights off in my apartment and the darkness outside I'm cautiously optimistic that I can fall asleep before the sun rises. Happy 36 minutes after the 4th of July.
I've just spent two hours perusing grad school websites, reading about graduate education programs, and I am even more confused than usual.
To start, I love my job right now! I love being in the classroom, surrounded by 20 wonderful kindergarteners, and learning with them. I love to learn, and I love to excite them about learning--I just don't know how to explain how great it is to be in the classroom.
In many ways, I could see myself being a kindergarten teacher for the next 40 years...
...but I also wonder if I'm supposed to be in the classroom for 40 years. Here are two parts of my future I feel fairly certain about:
1. Whatever I do needs to involve children, especially children between the ages of 3 and 6.
2. Whatever I do needs to involve education and learning.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I'm most myself around 5 year-olds. I'm not sure why, but I think there's something so amazing about hanging out with people who are genuine, sincere, and honest. 5-year olds are all these things. They don't say things just to sound smart or to make a point; they operate so differently than people of any other age, and it's so refreshing to spend time with them. I love that I can pull a student aside and simply say: "What's going on today?" ...and the answer I get is honest. When some people get stressed, they go for a run; others need a cigarette--some may need a hug...me, I need a box of crayons, and let me color with a kid, and I'll be good to go.
That said, if you know me you know I love working with kids, and you should also know that I LOVE learning. Love it. I love to read, I love to write, I love to do new things (even if sometimes I don't seem like I do). I love to learn about all kinds of things. Don't tell my brother, but yes, I like learning about opera, too. I'll never be the kind of person who will be on Jeopardy and remember all kinds of random trivia. In fact, I am terrible at remembering anything and everything I learned in history classes, but if you give me a great non-fiction work on something from history, I will dive into it. Put me in a museum, and I'll spend way too much time there--a museum and a library beat a classroom and a boring textbook any day. I sometimes mistake my love of learning for a love of school. The truth is, I do love school, but not always. I loved the schools I went to and the teachers and professors I had.
I once had a professor tell me that I was a different type of student...I forget her exact words, but she said something along the lines of: "If you were put in an empty room and someone turned the lights off and left you there, you'd still find a way to learn. You're a learner at heart." ...and I've never heard anyone say something like that before. Up until a couple years ago, I think I thought that everyone felt the way I did, that learning and school are great. I've learned that's not necessarily true, but I also think that a love of learning can be taught--it's great teachers and great educators who inspire that in you, and so I know I want to stay in the education world somehow.
And now, in no particular order, here are the other things I really want to be part of my career at some point:
1. Working with children who are sick and their families. Two words: St. Jude. I don't know if this is a response to my being sick or what, but I really think that in many ways while it would break my heart to be around children who have life-threatening illnesses, the children and their families would easily repair that breaking. I feel like I would be the luckiest person to get to know all those amazing children and their families if I worked at a hospital like St. Jude or Children's Memorial.
2. Working with and perhaps advising new teachers. I am still very much so a new teacher, and so it's not that I feel I have all this wisdom to pass off to anyone. Rather, what I discovered in talking with the new corps members this year (and as I felt in the past with new members in Tri Delt) is that I just love listening to people who are excited embark on something new! I love to keep in touch with people, as terrible as I may be at responding to emails and phone calls, and really, I could sit and listen to or read about my friends' lives all day long. I love to hear what's going on with a friend or read about the amazing things they're doing.
3. Fun pretty organization. I love labels and organization. I love when things match, when things are neat and orderly. I feel as though my love of things being pretty and neat almost ventures into Monica Geller-ness...except I don't cross-reference things yet so I think I'm okay. On the last day of school, I made Kristin pretend to be as excited as I was about my newly organized binders in my cabinets. During Induction, I re-did our meeting room with posters, and I made people go see it--I really just love when things look neat and organized.
4. Being outside! Believe it or not, despite my fear of bugs and my tendency not to like the weather when it ventures beyond my 60-75 degree comfort zone (as well as my likelihood to burn in any weather), I really do love being outside. I certainly don't want to rough it by living outdoors for the rest of my life and surviving on food I caught and made myself. That does not sound fun to me at all. However, if I could teach outside everyday I would. I love to splash in puddles and wear my rainboots. If I didn't get sick so often, I'd spin around in the rain more often. There's something very magical and fun about being outside and about nature.
...and there ends my list for today. With all those thoughts in my head, I figured why not type this all up--there's definitely more to come and much more to add, but I think I'll leave it at that for tonight. I woke up very late today (4 P.M. late...) after sleeping all yesterday with a migraine, but with all the lights off in my apartment and the darkness outside I'm cautiously optimistic that I can fall asleep before the sun rises. Happy 36 minutes after the 4th of July.
"Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate."
Thursday, July 1, 2010
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.” -Miss Piggy
American Apparel=no sweat shops, which is great...but this article highlights hiring processes and workplace policies that are not so great...
"The store in which I work is located in a very racially and class segregated city, and all the people who work in the back are people of color and everyone who works on the floor is a thin white person.
Myself and another black woman who works in the back recently had a conversation regarding this, that it's not so much that there is a dress code telling us what to wear and not show tattoos (which is fairly standard, unfortunately, as someone with multiple tats and plugs), but that the way in which it is written, interspersed with pictures of thin white models, is condescending and sets forth a very specific message about who they want to work in their stores and, since it tells us we are supposed to "be what our customers aspire to", who they want to shop there. My co-worker told me about this moment with our manager when she was looking at the internal AA website at photos of employees at other stores saying how beautiful these girls were... when my coworker looked at the pictures, all she saw were multiple photographs of very thin and very tall white women who weren't necessarily or particularly more "gorgeous" for any reason."
Read more at Gawker...
"The store in which I work is located in a very racially and class segregated city, and all the people who work in the back are people of color and everyone who works on the floor is a thin white person.
Myself and another black woman who works in the back recently had a conversation regarding this, that it's not so much that there is a dress code telling us what to wear and not show tattoos (which is fairly standard, unfortunately, as someone with multiple tats and plugs), but that the way in which it is written, interspersed with pictures of thin white models, is condescending and sets forth a very specific message about who they want to work in their stores and, since it tells us we are supposed to "be what our customers aspire to", who they want to shop there. My co-worker told me about this moment with our manager when she was looking at the internal AA website at photos of employees at other stores saying how beautiful these girls were... when my coworker looked at the pictures, all she saw were multiple photographs of very thin and very tall white women who weren't necessarily or particularly more "gorgeous" for any reason."
Read more at Gawker...
