My dream job...

...has yet to be created, as far as I know. Actually, I'm not sure what my dream job is so perhaps it already exists, and I just don't know it.

I've just spent two hours perusing grad school websites, reading about graduate education programs, and I am even more confused than usual.

To start, I love my job right now! I love being in the classroom, surrounded by 20 wonderful kindergarteners, and learning with them. I love to learn, and I love to excite them about learning--I just don't know how to explain how great it is to be in the classroom.

In many ways, I could see myself being a kindergarten teacher for the next 40 years...

...but I also wonder if I'm supposed to be in the classroom for 40 years. Here are two parts of my future I feel fairly certain about:

1. Whatever I do needs to involve children, especially children between the ages of 3 and 6.
2. Whatever I do needs to involve education and learning.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I'm most myself around 5 year-olds. I'm not sure why, but I think there's something so amazing about hanging out with people who are genuine, sincere, and honest. 5-year olds are all these things. They don't say things just to sound smart or to make a point; they operate so differently than people of any other age, and it's so refreshing to spend time with them. I love that I can pull a student aside and simply say: "What's going on today?" ...and the answer I get is honest. When some people get stressed, they go for a run; others need a cigarette--some may need a hug...me, I need a box of crayons, and let me color with a kid, and I'll be good to go.

That said, if you know me you know I love working with kids, and you should also know that I LOVE learning. Love it. I love to read, I love to write, I love to do new things (even if sometimes I don't seem like I do). I love to learn about all kinds of things. Don't tell my brother, but yes, I like learning about opera, too. I'll never be the kind of person who will be on Jeopardy and remember all kinds of random trivia. In fact, I am terrible at remembering anything and everything I learned in history classes, but if you give me a great non-fiction work on something from history, I will dive into it. Put me in a museum, and I'll spend way too much time there--a museum and a library beat a classroom and a boring textbook any day. I sometimes mistake my love of learning for a love of school. The truth is, I do love school, but not always. I loved the schools I went to and the teachers and professors I had.

I once had a professor tell me that I was a different type of student...I forget her exact words, but she said something along the lines of: "If you were put in an empty room and someone turned the lights off and left you there, you'd still find a way to learn. You're a learner at heart." ...and I've never heard anyone say something like that before. Up until a couple years ago, I think I thought that everyone felt the way I did, that learning and school are great. I've learned that's not necessarily true, but I also think that a love of learning can be taught--it's great teachers and great educators who inspire that in you, and so I know I want to stay in the education world somehow.

And now, in no particular order, here are the other things I really want to be part of my career at some point:
1. Working with children who are sick and their families. Two words: St. Jude. I don't know if this is a response to my being sick or what, but I really think that in many ways while it would break my heart to be around children who have life-threatening illnesses, the children and their families would easily repair that breaking. I feel like I would be the luckiest person to get to know all those amazing children and their families if I worked at a hospital like St. Jude or Children's Memorial.

2. Working with and perhaps advising new teachers. I am still very much so a new teacher, and so it's not that I feel I have all this wisdom to pass off to anyone. Rather, what I discovered in talking with the new corps members this year (and as I felt in the past with new members in Tri Delt) is that I just love listening to people who are excited embark on something new! I love to keep in touch with people, as terrible as I may be at responding to emails and phone calls, and really, I could sit and listen to or read about my friends' lives all day long. I love to hear what's going on with a friend or read about the amazing things they're doing.

3. Fun pretty organization. I love labels and organization. I love when things match, when things are neat and orderly. I feel as though my love of things being pretty and neat almost ventures into Monica Geller-ness...except I don't cross-reference things yet so I think I'm okay. On the last day of school, I made Kristin pretend to be as excited as I was about my newly organized binders in my cabinets. During Induction, I re-did our meeting room with posters, and I made people go see it--I really just love when things look neat and organized.

4. Being outside! Believe it or not, despite my fear of bugs and my tendency not to like the weather when it ventures beyond my 60-75 degree comfort zone (as well as my likelihood to burn in any weather), I really do love being outside. I certainly don't want to rough it by living outdoors for the rest of my life and surviving on food I caught and made myself. That does not sound fun to me at all. However, if I could teach outside everyday I would. I love to splash in puddles and wear my rainboots. If I didn't get sick so often, I'd spin around in the rain more often. There's something very magical and fun about being outside and about nature.

...and there ends my list for today. With all those thoughts in my head, I figured why not type this all up--there's definitely more to come and much more to add, but I think I'll leave it at that for tonight. I woke up very late today (4 P.M. late...) after sleeping all yesterday with a migraine, but with all the lights off in my apartment and the darkness outside I'm cautiously optimistic that I can fall asleep before the sun rises. Happy 36 minutes after the 4th of July.