As I said yesterday, my car and I have a love-hate relationship. I love it. It hates me.
Tomorrow, AAA will be coming to tow my car to an auto shop staffed by the most relaxed, chill car guy I've ever met. I discovered (and by discovered, I mean I found via yelp) this great MINI place when I moved down to LA and my car died on me in August.
Unlike the previous MINI dealers who were crazy in Mountain View (a year and a half ago, when my tires almost blew out...), this guy gladly called up Uncle Sandy to give him the details on what was wrong with my car, and Sandy approved.
As tomorrow will be yet another day my car and I part ways for a brief while until I pay the ridiculous bills that I fear will be sent my way, I decided to come up with a list of reasons I like NOT having a car. Yes, my dear MINI, I am ending the love. I currently hate you a little, and so I offer you...
Top Ten Reasons I Like Not Having a Car
10. I don't have to $4.49 for premium gas that apparently does little to keep my car in prime shape.
9. I have yet to trip today. I tripped several times getting in and out of my car this weekend. Not sure why; I'm not very graceful. It doesn't hurt too much when a cute guy helps me up, but it's not exactly a proud moment either.
8. If I lose something (which I do all the time), I know one place it can't be: my car. I regularly leave my sunglasses, keys, wallet, glasses, or one of my phones in my car. Now I have one less place to look.
7. Nothing stuck on my windshield or car door when I leave school. I have accumulated lots of little ads for companies around my school. If I park my car anywhere in LA for more than an hour, I find I have some type of flier awaiting me upon my return.
At least I don't have papers like these on my car everyday... photo source
6. I don't have to worry about losing my car keys...
On Thursday, I realized I had a 3-day weekend. An extra day?! What's a girl to do? Road trip indeed. I debated for about 30 seconds...called a few friends and decided to drive up to the Bay with the puppy in tow.
Saturday, I woke up bright and early at 5...and forced myself to go back to sleep for a little before setting out on my first diet-coke-free drive.
It seemed fitting that Freedom of the Road by Martin Sexton launched my drive when I pressed "shuffle" on my playlist for the drive.
Now, you have to understand, I had great music on and no diet coke, so I imagine this is what I looked like to many people I drove past:
This is what I look like with no diet coke.
P.S. All photos that appear to be taken while driving...nope. I always stopped when I took photos. In the middle of the 5. (Just kidding. I did stop...but not in the middle of the 5.)
Chloe says: Mom, you're crazy.
A couple hours later...pigtails gone, still crazy
I finally arrived in Oakland at around 2 pm and got to see my amazing friend Holly!
Don't judge--I had been driving for 6 hours and for whatever reason was graced with a double chin. However, seeing as Holly and I have taken a whopping 2 photos together over 3 years of friendship, I will suck it up.
Holly knows me very well and quickly asked how I felt about going shopping followed by eating sushi. Um, yes and yes. That sounds delightful.
So we left Kaya and Chloe behind with Donnie, Holly's husband, as we went off to do some fun shopping.
Side note: my dog is turning brown. What on earth is going on?
While shopping, I saw lots of cute items but couldn't pass up this adorable jean dress! (Sarcastic marks?)
Background: I have an interview outfit, which consists of a really cute navy dress from Banana Republic, a white cardigan, pearls, and navy flats...and once, someone interviewing me wrote down "Nice denim dress." I felt very judgmental, but couldn't help but think, "Seriously? This looks like a denim dress?"
This right here is part of the proof of my diet-coke-less weekend. With my sushi, I had green tea.
After shopping and sushi, well, I did what I always do at Holly and Donnie's...I fell asleep on their couch while watching a movie. In my defense, Holly fell asleep first...we're teachers; it happens.
The next day, I drove from Oakland to San Jose and had time to see some of my amazing former students. There are no words to express how much I adore them. Pure joy to see them.
Breanna and Roselle
The boys! Anthony, Andrew, and Adrian--so happy they smiled for me! :)
It's amazing to see how much they have grown and to hear about how excited they are to head to 2nd grade! One of my former kinders, Mia, is at a dual-language school, and so I told her she needs to call me to practice her spanish, because I need practice too!
After that, it was lunch and beach time. Kristin and I had our typical lunch at the most amazing Indian place in Alum Rock, and then, after some impressive work maneuvering my bike into my car, we drove into Santa Cruz. At this point, I could practically taste the coffee from Verve.
Mom, is it beach time yet??
Kristin had troubles with her doggy bags...
Most amazing friends and dogs ever. It's like I never left.
Chloe=not a fan of the water.
After some beach fun, we ate at Rumble Fish in Scotts Valley, because sushi two nights in a row is never a bad idea. Kristin and I used to do a similar trip when we taught together last year--we'd leave work as soon as we could, hop in one of our cars with the dogs, get coffee at Verve, do some work, take the pups to the beach, and eat sushi on our way back. I am blessed by some wonderful friends!
...the night concluded at Julie's beautiful house in Santa Cruz, with a s'more and margarita. We watched the movie Drive, and it was almost like college...except we didn't use a Magic Bullet to make our drinks, and I only had one so I woke up feeling lovely.
Girls' night?
Then today, I woke up ready to head back to LA. I got an early start, and for good measure, I stopped at Verve one last time.
So delicious.
Three hours into my drive, I stopped in Kettleman City to put some gas in my car. When I went to turn my car back on, it didn't start. Oh, hey, this is kind of familiar. Just like the first day of summer school!
A nice man tried to help me jump my car, but no luck so I called AAA.
As I waited for AAA to arrive, I took Chloe on a walk and gave my brother a call.
Me: Hey, want to hear a funny story?
Chris: Sure. I'm going to put you on speakerphone so Brittany can hear the story too.
Me: So, I'm driving along, doo doo doo, and I stop after a couple hours to put some gas in my car. Then, my car won't start! So, I'm waiting for AAA right now.
Chris: Um, that's not funny.
...
Me: I mean, I should have seen this coming. I had a great trip so of course my car won't start now.
Chris: Yeah, it could be worse. Brittany just got a jury duty summons.
Then, Rocky from AAA arrived. Hooray! AAA to the rescue!
Jumper cables check...
Car maybe starting?
It took jumping my car three times for it to start, and it was doing some funky stuff. When I would turn the ignition on, my windows would go down a little, but I decided to brave it and make the drive. Here we go! LA or bust!
When I got home, I made sure not to turn my car off as I got my bike out of my car...
Isn't it cute?
...and of course, once I turned my car off, it would not turn back on. It's a love-hate relationship I think. I love my car; it hates me.
After a long day of traveling, Chloe and I needed to rest. Chloe passed out on my bed after I took her on a little hike around town; I decided to rest in the form of cleaning. There's something about a clean house that makes me happy.
Chloe, ever the lady, sleeping with her legs splayed open.
However, don't worry too much. After some cleaning, I hopped in the shower, then made a delightfully large margarita. It's a rare day I take a photo straight out of the shower, no makeup on, and with my wet hair looking crazy, but this margarita was delightful.
Exhausted happiness
There's definitely more to say...I wish my brain had the words. My weekend was phenomenal. I had so much fun...and I'm happy to be back.
Oh, and don't forget. Memorial day is more than just an extra day off of work. There are no words to express how grateful I am for our troops, past, present, and future.
True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost. Arthur Ashe
Yesterday was the Blondes vs. Brunettes flag football game. This girl is not cut out for super intense contact sports. It's always seemed more "natural" to me to flip over a 4-inch wide beam (though those days are long gone...oh gymnastics...you're not as easy at 25 as you used to be...).
I had a fabulous time. Check out the photos and video below, and then sneak a peek at what I said today at the Board of Directors meeting for the California Southland chapter of the Alzheimer's Association. What an honor to be asked to speak.
Go #22 (a.k.a. me) and Team Blonde!
Some of the lovely ladies of Team Blonde!
Adore this girl--one of the first people I met at Pepperdine, one of people I intend on knowing when we're old (and maybe gray?).
November co-captains for the Junior Committee's Walk to End Alzheimer's team!
Team Blonde. Aren't we pretty in our headbands? They are amazing and don't slip at all...check em out at BIC Bands!
On Thursday of last week, Team Blonde’s football
practice ended with my face-planting straight into the ground. The dirt on my
face that night certainly indicated I’m not meant to be a football player, but
as I put the top down on my car and drove home, I felt so unbelievably
energized nonetheless. I sang obnoxiously loud to the music I was playing and
as I do on many nights felt very grateful to be alive.
When I pulled into my garage though, all of a
sudden I felt as though I had been sucker-punched in the stomach, because I
realized what had happened that night. I became my mother’s daughter. I didn’t
care how ridiculous I looked, because I loved what I was doing. I was having
fun, and I was surrounded by amazing people. If there is anything I remember
about my mom, it’s that she knew that life was best spent with the people you
love, having fun, regardless of how you look or what others think.
I wish I could have called her that night to tell
her, “Mom, I think I get it. I think I know how to do this whole thing called
truly enjoying life,” but in October, after 10 years battling Alzheimer’s, my
mom passed away, and so I instead found myself sitting down to write just how I
found myself at this point. 25 years old and without a mom to call to
celebrate…and then, without a mom to call for comfort.
When I was 15, my mom was diagnosed with
early-onset Alzheimer’s at the age of 50. The once bold and fiercely
independent woman I knew quickly became a stranger to me. My mom has always
been known as a force to be reckoned with, and so it was very odd to watch her
go through the initial stages of Alzheimer’s. At first it was the little
things: she would forget to pick me up from school, or she would go to pick me
up from school instead of work, and we once got lost on a drive home from the
airport.
Then, when I was 16, one day my mom asked,
“What’s your name again?” I don’t even remember what I said in response. Even
as I was writing what I would say today, there is much I feel I have forgotten, because Alzheimer’s
just didn’t make sense to me at the time. I could process other diseases, but
Alzheimer’s wreaked havoc on my family as we tried to figure out how to handle
the loss of my mom in so many ways.
I still remember the afternoon of my high school
graduation. At this point, my mom had been battling Alzheimer’s for about 3
years. Just a few weeks before, my family and I had flown to North Carolina to
see my brother graduate from college, and after my mom had made it through
traveling and attending his graduation, it didn’t occur to us that much might
change in a few weeks.
However, a few weeks of early-onset Alzheimer’s
had a huge impact. The day of my graduation, my mom refused to get ready to go
with us, insisting that the clothing my dad had laid out for her was for
children and that he was trying to trick her. Just five minutes before my
brother and I were about to leave to go by ourselves, my mom changed her mind
and decided to join us. Fortunately, graduation was fairly uneventful, and on
our way home, we decided to stop to get some dessert to celebrate that night.
As we made our way to the table to sit down, my mom stopped and started yelling
towards our table while looking at my dad: “I’m not going with him! He hits me!
I am not going with him!”
A moment of uncomfortable silence followed as we
decided what to do—I was ready to leave, but my aunt, my mom’s sister, kept
insisting: “No, Alex, you deserve to be able to celebrate! We can have dessert!
It’s okay!”
With Alzheimer’s and any life-threatening
disease, there is this inclination to hold onto what is “normal.” When I was
19, I was diagnosed with cancer, and I remember trying to maintain normalcy as
much as possible—so chemo would just be a blip in my life, not the definition
of my life at the time. In the very same way, that night at graduation and all
throughout my mom’s fight with Alzheimer’s, my family and I fought the battle
of how to maintain “normalcy.” The night of graduation, normalcy was having
dessert with my family, because if my mom could make it through dessert, then
maybe things would be okay. We could do what “normal” families do.
I'm well aware that I've now written a post every day for the past three days. I like it. I don't know where this writing energy has come from, but I like it!
I hold onto good quotes. Things that make me think and things that apply to me.
In a very literal sense of giving, Pepperdine's motto has resonated a lot lately.
As I've mentioned before, I am in the midst of two fundraisers. This past weekend I completed the EIF Revlon 5k for Women, and this coming weekend, I will be playing flag football (yes, it's going to be hilarious) in a fundraiser called Blondes vs. Brunettes for the Alzheimer's Association. As I prepared for both events, I emailed friends and family about supporting me through happy thoughts, prayers, emails, and, if possible, donations.
While the actual amount of money I have raised so far astounds me ($600 for the 5k and $1000 for the game), I am more so blown away by the sheer number of people that have donated. 17 people donated for the 5k, and 29 people donated for the game! Wow. I am grateful to have so many people supporting me and these amazing causes.
I shared with the same friends and family who I asked to donate that I also would be donating to both events. I am in this fight against cancer and against Alzheimer's with more than just my words, with my actions as well.
People often preface asking for donations with: "I know it's hard to hear someone always asking for money, because there really are so many good causes," but what I've discovered is that for all these good causes, I want to donate. Since they are ALL good causes, I want to support them ALL. My donations are rarely large donations--usually around $15, but as I fundraise myself, I know that $15 makes a difference. Even $5 can help a friend meet a fundraising goal--and $5 shows support.
...and then after a couple weeks of chemo I looked like this:
...and so some friends did a 5k for me dressed like this:
3 years ago, I walked the Revlon 5k and rocked my medal like this:
So this year I did it again with my friend Jenn wearing hot pink laces like this:
...and I got a flower and cute button for being a cancer survivor that looked like this:
After the 5k, we went to the Survivor tent where we feasted on yummy drinks and cupcakes like this:
There I also managed to get cupcake on myself, which wasn't as bad as when I spilled my smoothie on my cute reusable tote resulting in this:
And at the end of the day it was just fabulous in general, because for several hours that day, I got to wear a super cool hat just like this:
Four years ago, when I came back to school post cancer-fun my junior year, I worked briefly at a place called The Little Gym teaching gymnastics classes (brief background: I did gymnastics for 10 years and then taught for very nearly the same amount of time...). The owner of the gym, Kristen, was amazing. Inspirational. She had her head on straight and knew what she wanted to do with her life, and it blew me away, because she was only a couple years older than I was! I remember one of my first weeks there, Kristen got engaged. She's one of those people that was too pretty...and then the engagement ring just made it ridiculous! She glowed, and it was evident she was so very happy!!
My senior year, just after I graduated and just after I did the 5k, Kristen and I reconnected via a website called Survivor Celebration. I had joined it and actually gone trapezing earlier in the year with cancer survivors in and post- treatment (what an experience!) and saw Kristen's name pop up. This is what Kristen wrote on the website:
I am 25 years old and have recently opened my own business in Calabasas, called The Little Gym. In January I was diagnosed with a very rare type of cervical cancer. My family and I were shocked by the news. I am getting married at the end of May and this was not the type of news I was expecting before my wedding day. I had to have a radical hysterectomy, but was fortunate enough to save my ovaries. My surgeon recommended light radiation and chemotherapy, immediately following my surgery, as my treatment. After doing a lot of research I decided to go an alternate route. It has been about 3 months since my surgery and I feel great and am very comfortable and happy with my decision to not go through with chemotherapy and radiation. Some doctors may think im crazy for not doing the treatments, but I have been fortunate enough to find a doctor that is comfortable with my decision. My lifestyle has been changed drastically due to my alternative treatment but each day I am getting more and more used to it. I still plan on getting married at the end of May and I have gotten the okay to go on my honeymoon. It has been a short, but what seems to be very long, roller coaster ride and I know I will look back on this one day and realize how much I've learned from this whole experience.
My heart sunk into my stomach when I read this. Kristen was amazing, and I felt terrible...but I also knew that feeling terrible wouldn't do much, and so I just reached out to her just to say hi and check in. We caught up over the exchange of a few messages and Facebook.
In November of 2010, Kristen wrote, as part of a longer message: Thanks soo much for your message, I truly appreciate all your thoughts and prayers. I'm trying to keep my head up as much as possible, but it has been a battle. I just cant seem to bounce back the way I did from the first surgery. She exuded positivity and strength, and it was the only time I've heard even a small bit of exhaustion from her (and mind you, she opened her own business at the age of 24!). She was rightfully tired after all she had been through, and while my faith sometimes wavers, I really did think of Kristen and pray often for her.
In April of 2011, Kristen passed away.
Kristen, on Saturday, I ran for you.
Three years ago, when I did this 5k, three people joined me. One woman was named Tanya, who you can see in the photos above. Tanya was actually my supervisor for a job I had as an undergrad at Pepperdine. Tanya always had a bubbly personality, she was always super positive, and she always offered her help and kind words to everyone around her. When she joined my 5k team, I was surprised--she was my supervisor, not a fellow student--but I was also so equally pleased! I knew getting to USC by no later than 7 a.m. would be a very early morning, and Tanya guaranteed would be bright and cheery when we arrived.
In March of 2011, Tanya and I caught up when I asked friends to make videos for my students about college. She was so excited, and it was so wonderful to catch up with her.
The 5k this year was very special to me for many reasons. 5 years cancer-free. My first Mother's Day weekend since my mom passed away. In memory of Kristen while remembering completing it with Tanya. Ladies, all three of you are missed more than you know, by more than just me, and I hope you are celebrating in heaven together!
"We feel happiness and joy to be together, to celebrate such a wonderful woman, and we also feel this indelible pain of losing someone we loved so much. "
In November, when I said those words, I knew they would unfortunately be true...and Mother's Day is one of those days that proves that losing someone indeed is not a temporary pain. It's not going away. I had a rare morning where before I opened my eyes, I really did think my mom would be here...my healthy, pre-Alzheimer's mom, and wow, it sucked to realize that was not true.
I am beyond blessed in my life--I didn't realize Mother's Day would be tough, because it's probably been 9 years since I've had something even close to a normal Mother's Day (by normal, I mean one in which your mom knows who you are...).
While I'm tempted to enjoy a margarita at 7 a.m., I instead decided, hey, it's time to make a list. (I like lists...they're neat, simple, and organized.)
So, here you go.
Top Ten Life Lessons My Mom Taught Me
10. Expiration dates are just a suggestion.
The real test is: Do you reasonably think you can eat this without getting sick? If not, put it back in the pantry or fridge. Surely it will be ready to eat in a week or two. I have heard this from my dad, aunt, and uncle too. Must be a family thing.
9. Buy a larger size. You'll grow into it.
Case in point: This jacket.
8. Don't let other people tell you what to do.
Oh yeah, my mom married my dad despite her parents not attending the wedding. This year they would have celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. Does a more appropriate and positive use of the word badass exist? I think not.
7. Dogs are a (wo)man's best friend.
A dog will eat your child's face...
...and it is entirely possible to convince your dad to get you a dog despite his bold statement that we will NOT be buying any dogs, just looking at them.
6. Cubs fans are the best--and there is never an age at which it's too early to start developing one.
5. If you have kids, you can and should get them to wear ridiculous things and then take photos of them.
Supergirl (?) realizes bags are the best. Addiction begins.
Yes! Doily...or according to Chris, muumuu.
No words to describe...
all the awesome outfits...
my brother wore. (Suspenders!)
Yes.
4. "Find somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with, and hold onto her forever." (Technically an Italian Job quote--and would apply more to Chris given the pronoun used...so let's pretend it says him/her. That said, well done, Mom. You definitely did find him. We all should be so lucky.)
3. Making someone smile? Totally worth it, regardless of what it entails.
In case you didn't know, tree-skirt ballet is about to take off big time.
2. Family wins.
In case you were wondering, harmonicas taste good.
and of course...
1. Life is tough. People aren't always going to be nice to you. Suck it up.
