I spent today with my apparent new best friend of 2014: Advil. You see, Advil has been a pretty crucial part of the past month of my life. Despite the fact that I don't like taking medicine as I consider myself to be very tough, sometimes things like broken elbows or fevers require me to take medicine.
(Fun fact: I've had a bottle of 80 Advil that I purchased the weekend I fell. I have 49 left (discovered this today when the bottle spilled...)--which means I really haven't taken very much medicine anyway since I'm allowed to take 9 a day).
This morning, or if I'm being really honest, nearly this afternoon, as I was lying on my couch, I briefly got a little angry at my body. Seriously? You are just getting over a broken bone and think that now is an appropriate time for me to get a fever? I disagree with you, body. I issue a strong statement of dissent.
The moment quickly passed, and I found I was reminding myself of something I know but maybe sometimes forget: my body does a lot for me, and I should really be grateful for it.
Now don't get me wrong, my body and I have our disagreements. I will often push my body to its limits, because I think I'm oh-so-tough. I often don't give my body a break when it needs it. For example, I still remember being offered a wheelchair when I needed to have some lung test while I was going through chemo. Let's be honest: I probably wasn't looking so great if I looked like I needed a wheelchair. I refused, however, and felt a little bit upset--really, body? Can't you keep it together?
I also have moments where I get distracted by things and people around me, and the words "juice cleanse" seem intriguing. Though my pant size is a single digit, I'm no longer as little as I used to be in high school; I know, it sounds so awful (sarcasm marks), but hey, sometimes it's hard to ignore the allure of new diets and trends.
However, in time, I've come to realize my body is pretty damn strong, and I ought to give credit where credit is due (instead of getting sucked in to a world of skinny jeans and feeling down on my appearance). Sure I have a few scars, and yes I'm not always stoked to take a day off from work, to admit I'm not feeling well, or to feel like my body at any point is limiting me, but if I look at all the evidence, well, it's in favor of my body being strong and useful--and in fact, not limiting me.
My scars are reminders that 1. My body can handle cancer. Win., 2. My body can also handle my clumsiness and failed attempt at using a steak-knife to cut a plum when I was 10, and 3. Shark bites happen (I kid. It was the crazy tumor--but I like referring to it as my shark bite).
Each day, I get to wake up, make breakfast, walk to my car, drive somewhere--my body allows me to travel, to sleep well, to move, to walk, to dance, to talk, to write. If I'm thinking really big picture, my body allows me to live.
Sure, perhaps today there wasn't a lot of dancing happening, but maybe, just maybe, instead of getting angry at my body for failing to be healthy 365 days a year without a break, I should cut myself some slack and rest. Take care of my body after all it does for me. So in the spirit of being grateful that in a day or two I'll be good as new (and being patient with my body as it gets back to 100%), I'm heading to sleep early. Thanks for being awesome, body, for putting up with fevers and scars and still coming out on top. It may be time for a self-five.
♥a
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